The Harvest Moon Farm Interviews
by missanimestranger
Summary: Im bored am have decided to do another game interview with Max. Read on if you like wierd, whacky and random stuff.
1. Chapter 1

Harvest Moon Interviews

Interview 1: The citizens of Waffle Island

**Missanimestranger: hmm… well Maisie doesn't play harvest moon so… MAX! (Max is my cat by the way)**

**Max: Yello!**

**Me: Do you want to help with another gaming interview?**

**Max: Well I suppose I could-**

**Maisie: Wait! Don't you dare replace me with a cat again!**

**Me: *unfazed* Oh hello Maisie.**

**Maisie: How can a cat know more about that game than me!**

**Me: Well… Quite a lot actually as I am making up what you and him are saying, so I can make you stupid, as you are not actually writing this with me.**

**Maisie: Ah, I am hurt Roxie, hurt.**

**Me: *passing Maisie tree of tranquillity* Look, you stick this on and start playing whilst me and Max here do the interview and we'll see what you've learnt.**

**Maisie: **_**Fine**_

**Me: Okay sorry about that, let's bring them in. **

Into the game

Max: Roxie what's happened to you!

Me: I've changed into my avatar!

Max: It's scary!

Me: Shut up! Okay open up the manual.

Max: *Opens manual*

Me: Okay go to bachelors

Max: Why?

Me: Well come on the girls will want to know about the boys.

Max: Okay who do you want.

Me: Lets go down the list.

Max: So Calvin. Right here we go. *press's manual.*

Manual: Busy at the mine.

Me: Well it looks like we'll have to go down there ourselves. Ready?

Maisie: Wait im still playing, here.

Me: Don't worry it'll continue to work, im sure.

Maisie: But-

Max: Bye! *him and Roxie jump into Wii*

Me: Wow this is so cool, right lets go into the mine.

Ground Floor

*Calvin is surveying the room*

Me: Hey, it's Indiana Jones!

Max: What do you know about India Jones?

Me: Nothing. I just know he looks like him and is a lego hero!

Max: sigh. Im a cat and even I know more about him than you!

Calvin: Who's Indian?

Me: Don't worry.

Max: How come you like eggs?

Calvin: What?

Max: How come you like eggs?

Calvin: Say again?

Max: It says here ahem "Plumb the depths of his heart with gifts of gems and egg dishes" I mean random.

Calvin: *about to answer*

Me: Enough of that, what does "plumb" mean?

Calvin : *about to answer*

Max: Well were pushed for time.

Me: But we haven't even asked him any proper questions yet!

Max: I just saw Anissa round the corner.

Me: You little perv.

Max: shut up!

Outside Souffle Farm: Anissa

Anissa: Oh hello Rebecca!

**Max: Rebecca?**

**Me: Well, you know a farmer can't really have a name like Roxie can it. It needs to be wholesome like Rebecca.**

**Max: Whatever you say.**

Anissa: aww what a cute kitty. *reaches down to stroke Max*

Max: purr!

Me: DON'T!

Anissa: Oh sorry is he ill?

Me: Umm, something like that, yeah. Anyway we came to ask you some questions.

Anissa: fire away.

Max: Whats it like being married to a girl?

Anissa: What?

Me: Umm… Sorry, well the thing is Max thought…

Max: No, you thought, You are making up what I say, remember.

Me: Okay, I thought, at first, that Jin was a girl. Sorry.

Anissa: Oh that's fine I thought that too.

Max: That's why you married him.

Anissa: NO!

**Outside the Wii**

**Maisie: Why is that girl sparkling? Don't tell me you can get married to girls? *looks at spare manual* Oh, no it's a boy. Phew.**

At the Sunday inn: Chase

Me: awww, isn't Chase cute. If I hadn't married Toby, I'd of married Chase.

Max: really? He looks like a girl to me.

Me: Shut it. Or I won't let you come with me next time.

*Chase walks over to our table*

Chase: Hi, Rebecca *looks at Max* Um, pets aren't allowed.

Max: Im not a pet.

Chase: Ahhh! It talks. Oh well.

Me: *surprised by reaction* okay.

Max: Let's ask some questions.

Chase: Questions?

Me: Yeah. Questions. Im taking a part time job.

Max: That's what you call it.

Me: What are you implying?

Max: Nothing im just words on a page.

Chase: Ummm, what do want to ask?

Max: Why are you so mean to Maya?

Chase: Im not.

Max: But in your first rival event you were…

Chase: What rival event?

Max: Oh. Nothing.

Me: Umm… CHASE*Hugs him, Strokes hair*

Chase: Ummm, what are you doing?

Me: Checking to see if your hair is soft. Which it is!

Max: You can let go now Roxie, I mean Becca.

Me: No. I just let me do this a bit longer.

Toby: Rebecca, what are you doing?

Me: *Letting go* Nothing.

Toby: I thought you loved me!

Me: I do!

**Max: While that's going down let's put on some cheerful music and see how Maisie is getting on.**

**Maisie: "Do you want to stay here?" I'll put no.**

**Mayor: GAME OVER**

**Maisie: Yay! **

**Mayor: Only joking…**

**Maisie: Ohhh. **

**Mayor: You have to stay here * Goes evil* FOREVER**

**Maisie: Arrr. Stranger danger, stranger danger, I don't like this game.**

**Later**

**Maisie: Okay, sell strawberry's, ahh ha, theres someone.**

**TIMES UP**

**Ruth: One of the people you sold them to was my daughter not a customer.**

**Maisie: How was I supposed to know?**

**Ruth: I told you.**

**Maisie: Well it's not my fault you and your husband are so boring that I had to skip your conversation.**

**Ruth: How dare you talk back to me!**

**Maisie: Arrr! She can hear me! Stranger danger, stranger danger! When will Roxie and Max get back?**

Back at the farm: Toby

Max: Right, to fill you in, Roxie and Toby have forgiven each other and he has agreed to be interviewed.

Max: So when did you and Rebecca meet?

Toby: Outside the "on the hook"

Me: He asked me what type of food is my favourite.

Toby: And she said… VEGETABLES…

Me: Yeah but I won you back didn't I?

Toby: Yes *angry now* she kept on running to me with raw fish it was annoying.

Me: Please don't be mad!

Max: You do realise your making harvest moon sound like a dating sim.

Me: How do you know about those?

Max: Lucky Star.

Me: Fair enough.

Max: And…

Me: I do not want to know.

The barn

Max: Why are we here?

Me: You said we should focus on the farm aspect.

Max: No, I said you were making it sound like a…

Me: Yeah whatever. So, anyway as I was saying, I decided we should interview the animals.

Max: Like they would have anything to say.

Me: Well _your _talking aren't you!

Max: No. Im just words on a page I don't even have speech marks.

Me: Arrgh! Ever heard of scripts?

Max: No. AS I SAID IM JUST WOR-

Me: Yeah I get it! Okay *puts mic under sheep* So miss's sheep how long have you been working in this establishment?

Sheep: Barr, barr, barr

Me: I take that as 3 years.

Max: What!

Me: I can speak sheep.

Max: No you can't

Me: Yes I can. *sigh* Im bored, let's kill some chickens!

Max: What!

Me: Oh, wait, that's Zelda.

Max: What are you talking about?

At the Coop

Max: This interview is taking forever!

Me: Fine. We shall make this into adventure interviews and have chapters, but first I need answers from the chickens. They do all my dirty work. *goes up to various chickens* So agent Clucky what has Toby been up to recently?

Clucky: swquark, swquark

Me: I see.*Nodds head* Sounds suspicious.

Max: how does that make sense?

Me: Shhh. Im talking. *Goes to other chicken*. Queenie, how is the assassination of Gill going. You know I can't have him becoming the next mayor.

Queenie: Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck.

Me: I see, so then what are you going to do?

Queenie: Cluck, cluck, squwork.

Me: You disgust me. *Queenie falls through trap door* Well she's china's problem now. Right Jimmy.

Jimmy: *salutes* cluck, cluck.

Me: I am handing over the Gill case to you. Can you do it?

Jimmy: *nods*

Me: Good over wise, Max here would have to eat you. Right I tired, time to go home.

**Back at the house**

***Maisie behind the sofa***

**Maisie: Arrr! Oh, it's you.**

**Me: Indeed.**

**Maisie: I thought, we thought *pointing to empty space* it was Duncan. Thank God it's you!**

**Me: Well it's nice to be appreciated even if it was for being someone else. Now those- wait a second. Maisie if you want to practise your drama exam don't do it in my interview.**

**Maisie: Sorry…**

**Max: Well that was weird.**

**Me: So anyway what have you learnt?**

**Maisie: That harvest moon is full of creepy guys and annoying fields that take forever to hoe.**

**Me: Well that's good enough for me.**

**Max: Yeah.**

**Me: Please review, I'll make more!**

**Max: Yes we haven't had any reviews for our game interviews, and im hurt cause im in those ones.**

**Maisie: Send us any questions you want to ask the harvest moon guys?**

**Me: The next one (if you review) will be again on tree of tranquillity but after that it will be sunshine islands. Those are the only ones I've played but the characters are similar aren't they?**

**Max: Please tell us if these are good. Roxie was laughing when she wrote this so hopefully it's a good sign? Tell us.**

**Maisie: The end.**


	2. 2 Death and ninja chickens

Harvest Moon Farm Interviews

The citizens of Waffle island part 2

*Max and Roxie sipping tea outside the sundae inn*

Me: *Acting posh* Hmm, what a mighty fine day it is.

Max: *Looking very normal for a cat wearing a monocle*Yes, quite.

Me: A great day for a *Menacing look on face* murder.

Maisie: What!

Me: Oh hello young lady.

Maisie: Roxie, you can't do this!

Me: That's Rebecca, Flossington, Humphy the 3rd to you peasant.*kicks her in the knee*

Maisie: Owch! Roxie get a grip, you're not a murderer!

Me: In the real world no. In the gaming, yes. And any way my chicken minions have already assembled. Come along Max, we must interview Gill before he dies.

Max: *puts on his top hat, fake moustache and takes his cane* Bye, bye commoner.

Maisie: But?

Gill

*We arrive at his house*

Gill: Hello , *looks at Max* Um, is this a friend of yours?

Me: *ignoring him and walking into the house* Can't talk Blondie we've got business.

Gill: Um. Right.

Max: I am Maximillian 8th in line to the man in the moon. We're here about…

Me: About…

Max: the… MILK!

Gill: The _milk._

Me: He sees through us, give him the tomatoes, give him the tomatoes!

Max: *takes out tomatoes from his conveniently placed brief case* Can we tempt you.

Gill: Oh tomatoes! *starts eating* did you make these Rebecca, they are to _die_ for

Me: Oh _really _well it's a special tomato, _blood tomatoes, to be exact._

Gill: Oh really. Well anyway what was this about milk?

Me: milk?

Max: Oh, well… *Whispers* Rebecca when are the ninja chickens going to strike.

Me: In 2 minutes. We push him through the door and then they do their stuff.

Me:*to Gill* When does your father get back?

Gill: Not till tea, why?

Me: Oh there was just some stuff I need to talk to him about as well.

Gill: But im his son, I shall be mayor, you can-

Me: *mimicking* _I shall be mayor. _Shut it, Gill ever heard of a democracy?

Gill: What's that?

Me: Arrr!

Meanwhile

Maisie: I've got to stop them.

Mayor:*listening to ipod* Im sexy and know it! Do da do do, do da do doo!

Maisie: Ah, ha! Sir, you need to go home right now.

Mayor: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah.

Maisie: MAYOR!

Mayor: *takes head phones out* Oh hello child.

Maisie: As the mayor of this town you need to put your feet up and be with your son.

Mayor: Why?

Maisie: Just do it!

Mayor: But it's my favourite song!

Maisie: Arrgh!*Shoves him to the house.*

Back at Mayor's house

Gill: Becca, I think I should get you home, I'll call Toby, think of your children!

Max: Please Becca don't do this!

Me: I'll end it all!

Max&Gill: NOOOO! *Rebecca curses harvest goddess*

Me: Ha! Take that for appearing in my dreams with no actual real information besides "save me!" Ohh how I hate thee!

Gill: *Begs to the goddess* She didn't mean it, please forgive us.

Me: Says you who chopped the harvest tree!

Gill: That was for you!

Me: No. I just said it took me a long time to get to the mines and you, being the sicko you are went and destroyed the tree.

Gill: Why you! *cat fight * **Max: That's offensive to us cats. Me: so?**

Max: Umm Becca? The chickens are ready.

Me :Oh, *Opens door* Gill shall we go on a walk?*Turns to door, Mayors blocking the way*

Mayor: Oh hello Rebec-

Ninja chicken: Hi-yar! *Mayor gets knocked out, other chickens swarm to kill him, Maisie appears from behind*

Me: Maisie, you murderer!

Maisie: I didn't mean to!

Gill: Hey what's all the-* sees gruesome mess* Farther!

Me: what do you care, you can be mayor now.*everyone looks at her*

Me: What? I was just saying what the rest of you were thinking.

Toby: *rushes to the house* Darling what happened? I was just catching this killer whale *Picks up killer whale* When I heard the commotion.

Me: *acting innocent*Oh Toby it was terrible, I opened the door and these black figures came in from nowhere and killed the mayor, I think it was 4kidz trying to punish him for singing that awful song.

Maisie: How do you know about that, you weren't there!

Me: *kicks her* Yes I was, oh Toby- wait, if you're here then, whose looking after the baby?

Toby: Um, the turtle.

Turtle: Yo!*salutes*

Gill: Stop the madness! This random stuff has gone on for long enough. When im Mayor I shall ban randomness. A great man is in need of help.

Me: Or a coffin.

Gill: Let's take him to the surgery.

At the surgery

Max: Hey girly face.

Jin: What?

Max: Nothing.

Gill: So?

Jin: He's dead.

Gill: He can't be.

Jin: He's dead.

Gill: He can't be.

Jin: Well, he is.

Gill: But.

Me: HE'S DEAD!

Gill: OK! Oh, is there nothing you can do.

Jin: Well we could throw you in this sympathy package if you want.*hands him how to deal with grief pamphlet*

Gill: How much do I get?

Jin : 50 bucks.

Gill: Fine- wait what am I doing? No, I can't think like this, please Doc, is there anything?

Jin: No.

Gill: NOOOO!

Me: Yes there is. We just don't save!

Gin: But I did so much.

Jin: Me and Anissa,

Me: I don't want to know. Look, it doesn't hurt much and you won't even remember anything. Okay?

Gill: Let's do this.

Me: Great, cause im hungry! I-I mean sorry for your loss.

**Quit.**

**Max: Why did you do it?**

**Roxie: cause I wanted to end this quickly, its 14:01 and I haven't had lunch yet.**

**Maisie: And there was me thinking you had a heart.**

**Roxie: Oh Maisie, of cause I don't. Im on the internet I can be mean or nice and nobody would care.**

**Max: Are you sure about that?**

**Roxie: Okay all you readers out there! Hi, Bonjour! Hola! And all that jazz! Before, I said I would bring out the next chapter once I got reviews but then I had this idea and had to do it. Any that doesn't mean I don't care. I really want to hear from you all. Do like the randomness, or do want my next one to be more down to earth? Is there a character you want to take the micky mouse out of? (sorry) If there's any questions or things you want to happen, tell me, I could if you like add you in for a place in the next one. It would be fun to have others involved. I havn't had any reviews for my interviews, so I really want to know if there good. Please, please, please review.**


End file.
